027

I have been so happy lately, my lady. Ever since meeting Noah and his companions, my life has been heaven. Such adventure! Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s scary, and it’s always confusing. But it is so much fun. Berenice has been a wonderful companion. I do not know if you are responsible for putting her in my path, my lady, but if you are, I thank you greatly. She takes the time to explain things to me. She showed me how to masturbate and how to have sex, and it was so fun! There is still so much about this world I have to learn. This city is so strange. They have a bunch of different kinds of money, and it’s illegal to use the wrong kind to buy stuff.

We will soon be headed to Hoomtree. Sven wanted us to be aboard a blimp or hot air balloon by now, but the transportation union – I think that’s what it was called – said we don’t have enough money, even though Sven has a bunch of gold. And transportation tokens are way above artifact tokens, so we can’t even sell artifacts to get them. Berenice offered to sell more pictures of her anatomy to gnom men, but Noah and Sven were against it. I still don’t really get why the gnom men want photos like that. It seems so strange, but much of this world feels weird to me. I asked Bee when we got to the hotel, and she said it’s because the men’s wives are “prudish” here and won’t have sex except to reproduce. I still don’t get it. Sex is awesome – why wouldn’t you want to have it? Maybe I’ll ask Noah if he wants to do sex with me. Or wait – would that make Bee jealous? Maybe not, then.

New Gnom City is apparently strange even to the rest of the group, so I haven’t felt like as much of an outcast as usual. The food is weird, the people talk strangely, and there are so many pets. I do not understand why people keep animals around that have no moral value. They are a waste of resources that should be going to people. I would see them destroyed. But the gnoms care about them deeply, even though they have no value! Speaking of things with no value, Noah keeps asking about “computers”, but he can’t seem to explain them to the rest of us. So far, none of the gnoms know what he’s talking about, either.

I have been unusually excited lately, my lady. I have potentially found us a thrilling opportunity. Noah plans to thwart the Emperor’s plans to install himself as prime god. The Emperor has an artifact with a fragment of his soul, and intends to use the artifact to kill the Eye and take over. Obviously, this cannot be allowed to happen. But, I have a fragment of your soul inside me, my lady. My body may be freshly made and my memories blank, but I am as much an extension of you as my arms are of me. When we get to the Emperor’s artifact, perhaps I could persuade Noah to allow me to use my soul – a fragment of your own – to help you become prime god instead! Oh, what a wonderful possibility that is! You could help everyone! If Noah and the rest do not see reason, I may have to kill them and force our way. I love Noah and Bee and the rest of them, truly, but you are grander than any friendship. We have the opportunity to save everyone, forever. I will not mess this up!